An Open Letter: N's Enlistment

I know. It hurts. God, does it hurt. But this isn’t the end. It’ll be alright.

We all knew it was coming; doesn’t make it any less painful. I’ll be honest, I’m crying a little as I write this. It feels like I’m getting ready to send off the sweet, loving older brother that I’ve always wanted to the military. My heart hurts, yes. It hurts from the feeling of loss. But it also hurts from the swell of pride. 

From the fan cafe post (I speak some Korean, so this is based on what I could read and what I used a dictionary for, so please understand that I might not have understood completely), N expressed that he almost didn’t share when he was going to enlist. He only did it after seeing all of his friends and peers doing it. He didn’t want to initially because he felt a sense of shame for enlisting at practically the oldest he could. More than him leaving, the shame he feels makes me feel sad.

I hope that we can let him know that he does not have to feel ashamed for enlisting so late, after all, he is leading an amazing group of innovative gentlemen in a fast paced industry. He may not know it, be he’s changed lives. This I can personally attest to. 

So, as STARLIGHTS, let’s let him know that he has nothing to feel ashamed about. That we’re thankful for all the times he’s been with us. For all the joy he’s given us. For all of the confidence and love he’s given us.

I think, us, international STARLIGHTS are being hit a little harder with this than Korean STARLIGHTS. After all, the required enlistment doesn’t make sense to us. But even as we don’t like it –don’t understand it– I hope we can respect their country and culture, and to support them in spite of this. Our boys have a sense of pride in that someday they’ll have to serve. And for me, that’s good enough of a reason to support them through all of their enlistments. I hope you all can too.

I know. It hurts. It’s hard to say goodbye. But rather than saying goodbye as a finality, its just goodbye for a little bit. Besides, these past few months make more sense now. He’s moved out of the dorm finally. He’s started a YouTube channel. He won’t be cut off from the world entirely. He loves his STARLIGHTS. I’m willing to bet that he created a YouTube channel, just to stay in touch with us, his babies. I can’t help but think of his channel almost as love letters from him to his STARLIGHTS, kinda like how soldiers in the WWII would write home to their sweethearts.

I know. It hurts. God, does it hurt. But this isn’t the end. It’ll be alright.

After all, he told us before he even told his parents. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is. 

It’ll be alright because this is not a forever goodbye. Yes, we should cry. But when we send him off, instead of sending him off with tears of grief or tears of anger, let’s send him off the only way his beloved STARLIGHTS can. If we cry, let’s shed tears of pride. Tears of love. And a big smile on our faces, shining brightly enough for him to see, no matter where we’re from. 

차 학연, 감사합니다. 모든 것에 감사드립니다. 네 사랑에 감사드립니다, 네 힘을 가져 주셔서 감사합니다. 학연을 주셔서 감사합니다.

사랑,  네 STARLIGHTS

Thank you, Cha Hakyeon. Thank you for everything. Thank you for your love, thank you for your strength. Thank you for being you. 

Love, Your STARLIGHTS